African women, we are the most beautiful being ever to walk on earth. We have had all the features before they were approved by the west; thick thighs, big boobs, thick lips, hourglass shape. We have all these features before the west invaded and turn our world upside down….and we lost everything even beauty now depends on how “they” perceive it rather than how we perceive ourselves. We have been brainwashed, the mind’s eye of our men have been rewired and reset to ignore us if beauty is the topic of discussion. We judge ourselves, our esteem is so low they are almost diminishing and we women our own worse enemies. The first to body shame our fellow women, to point their flaws; oooh look at her stretch marks, see her dangling breast, see her knock or bow legs, see how big or thick her lips are, look at her elephant thighs, see her squinted eyes etc. Just because we see ourselves more as competition rather than sisters or equal players.
African women, we have so many barriers and obstacles working against us, so much so, that this above anything else should bring us together in sisterhood. let fix each other’s crown, let’s build our sisterhood. The bond we share should be stronger than any man, petty jealousy, envy, job rivalry, business rivalry, politics and some of the other mundane things that divide us as women. There is strength in diversity, all of us can not be the same, we come in different size short, tall, thick, slim, fair, dark, big nose, tiny button nose, big mouth, smallmouth but at the end, we are all beautiful because our foremothers told us so…because we know so because we believe so…let embrace our kinky hair, our melanin.
Teach the young sisters to stop bleaching it does not add any value to their beauty rather its takes away the beauty of their true self, self-worth, the radiance and natural glow of the skin. It causes health issues apart from the fact that bleaching does not look good on the eyes at all.
So let me share this story with you:
There was a little girl name Baindu in Lauwa Town. Whenever the parents are leaving for work they would ask, Baindu what can we bring for you? she would reply, a doll. Of course, dolls are cheap especially the tiny barbie blond dolls mass-produced from China. Her parents will gladly get her one when returning home after a day’s work.
She always wonders, why her dolls don’t look like her. Why her dolls hair is different. Baindu’s hair is coarse and sometimes she cries when her hair is been braid. This is not the same for her doll’s hair which is soft and long, that she wonders why hers is short, kinky, curly and shrink after washing and combing. One day, Baindu’s aunt and uncle came to visit. Her parents were not at home. The sooner they saw her doll, they start teasing her, saying; oooh, Baindu your child is way prettier, see her hair is long, yours is short, see how straight her nose is yours is broken, see her waist is so small. Baindu breaks down and cry, and threw the doll away after that comparison. The next day her mother said, Baindu what can I bring you today? she replies, nothing! the mother asks her, but Baindu why? She replies I don’t want a doll that is prettier than I am and does not look anything like me. She never did ask for a doll again.
Let teach our kids to be confident. Let them know they are beautiful irrespective of the colour of their skin or texture of their hair. Let teach our girls self-worth and how to embrace themselves. Low self-esteem and self-hate are real. Buy them dolls that look like them, don’t compare them to their dolls. Parents let be sensitive about to our kids if our girls/women are healthy emotionally and physically. We will have healthy homes, offices, communities. They will be confident enough to take on the world. They will be confident to take on any challenges they are faced with, and not worry about how they look or how people perceive them. Let embrace ourselves. Women allow other women to lean on your shoulder we all do need a shoulder at some point, fix each other’s crown, catch them young let build our young girls, let’s start again with their generation, kids learn the most when they are young.
We can do it, if only we believe in ourselves. Let’s be our sister’s keeper, let’s build a sisterhood stronger than the protein fibre of the spider web, let build us. By the way, the Baindu story is fictional😂😉🤩😍Salone Uman unu no una sef#Salone women know thyself