“The greatest sweetener of human life is friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment is a secret which only but a few discover”- Joseph Addison.
Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person or persons that trust, understand and respect you irrespective of all your flaws and never judge you.
A company of seven and eight intelligent women with strong characters and persona can seem intimidating, energy-draining for most people. But we have been together for over twelve years and still counting. The most frequently asked question is; How do you do it? How do you manage to stay together?
We have been together since our first year at the university and have managed to stay inseparable ever since. Over the years we have seen ourselves metamorphose into a better version of ourselves educationally, economically, socially and spiritually – As we seek the innate desire to find our true selves.
Like every relationship, we have thrived. Initially, there were the expected personality clashes, bickering and fussing about each other but we have always succeeded in getting our heads above water. We have always honored the silent girl’s code by respecting each other space and privacy. We have all been there through graduation parties, job celebrations, engagements, weddings, pregnancies, naming ceremonies, birthday parties, and anniversaries. We have been together through losses, heartbreaks, break ups, deaths, and grief over loved ones. We have been each other’s shrink as and when the need arises.
” Ours is a relationship built on genuine love, trust and mutual respect for each other. As we understand the unique dynamics of this thing called friendship”
We have the geeks, the divas, the ladies, and the straight-up ratchet. Some fit into two or more categories. Others fit into all. There is no better feeling than talking to a friend for long hours after a long absence (usually caused by our individually busy schedules).
There is always an endless list of things to do with your girlfriends; who else is going, to be honest with you when you wear the wrong clothes or have a bad hair day? Who will mock the hell out of you if you have a wardrobe malfunction but still help to save the day? Who would stop you from that impulse buying and tell you how you need to save? Who would celebrate you even when you messed up? Who would listen to all your ranting after a bad day’s work? Who would listen to you and pass you the tissue paper when you are heartbroken? Who would listen to your goals and cheer you harder? Who would laugh the fun out of you for no good reason? Who would you rather unrepentantly let your guard down with, throw your wig at and eat together in a pot with your hands?
What I have noticed about female friendship is, girls are competitive as though there’s only one spot in the world for everything and that’s not true. The sky is big for every woman out there to fly. We do have competition, healthy competition. One which is more about us evolving into better versions of ourselves with each passing day, than the toxicity I see among many other female groups. As women, we are frequently put against each other, left to battle over who is the best in mundane or petty things that are really irrelevant. But this sisterhood does so much more than just help each other look or feel good. We are one another’s cheerleader and support system through every weather.
We need to stick together and open our hearts to see that there is more to life than competing for a spot or to please men. It’s important not to cut yourself off from your female friends. We are not perfect, nor are we the best of girlfriends to each other. But we task ourselves to put the individual effort required to make the whole group work and that’s all we ask of each other.
Finally, as we go along this path with the awareness and the idea that our children are getting bigger. There is no intense pressure on them to be friends. We believe they will find their own true path to friendship and happiness. We just pray and hope that in the course of their existence they will get to experience a friendship like ours.
Hey, it’s understandable not everyone will get it, some might tag you negatively, or called you names. Some might pretend to dislike all you stand for because they want a friendship like yours. Guard your female friendships and enjoy every bit of it. It doesn’t come easy.
Finally, It was a weekend getaway with Lyoa Honey. It helps sweeten the precious moments, try it and thank me later😊😍
Copyright by Rahima Vandy-Kargbo