The rate at which young girls at our Universities are in a hurry to get and acquire vanity is alarming. They can do anything for the latest iPhone, and the trendiest, softest, curliest human hair weave/weft or wigs. This is in itself a whole topic. which as citizens of this nation we have failed ourselves and our young girls. Dating older men or dating many men at the same time is the order of the day for them. Going on trips with them, sometimes even out of the country. Some of their parents, of course, are usually unaware of all this especially those from rich backgrounds.
For some of them from poorer homes, their parents sometimes would help pack their bags for such trips, and heartily remind them not to forget to bring gifts. Our girls have so much potential but are in a rush and in competition with their peers for meaningless things that will no longer matter in their lives after university. If only they knew what’s ahead of them, the power they would have as educated women of this country. This trend has been on the increase over the years. It is caused by so many different factors: bad governance and the resulting poor economic situation; neglect of responsibilities by parents; access to the internet and the consumption of everything on it whether fake or not; girls want to look like their favourite celebrities, peer pressure, etc.
Firstly, the failure of government over the years to create the necessary socio-economic environment for citizens to thrive and earn a decent income that meets the basic needs of their families is one of the major factors. Income levels are abysmally low in the country and therefore parents are finding it very difficult to meet the educational and social demands of their children. These girls from poorer homes are forced to fend for themselves
Parents are failing in their responsibilities to cater for their children, especially the girl child who needs so many things to upkeep herself. I know so many girls who are seeing themselves through university because the parents are not economically sound and don’t have the means to pay for them. Most times even members of their family who have the resources won’t help. The only one who would come in to salvage the situation is the boyfriend, fiance or sugar daddy. This is the beginning of most of the problems of our girls, as they are left in the hands of strangers who in some cases would abuse them, knowing fully well that the girl and her family solely depend on him.
Most parents don’t have a clue about some of the challenges their daughters are going through in school; they don’t know how some of these lecturers, teachers and male students are preying on them. Yet still, they will call their daughters for feeding, health care, rent, and even school fees for their younger siblings. These parents know their daughters are in school with no other source of income. Where do they think these girls are getting the money from? Is that even fair to ask your child that you are not paying for through school, for all these things? And some of them really do think this is normal. Asking these girls for help, without an iota of shame and putting them through unnecessary pressure. Parents let learn to question our girls. where are they getting some of the items, resources in their possession, that we did not buy or give to them? Check out their friends, talk to them about college and life after college.
Our girls should also understand that they are not in competition with no one but themselves. Some girls try so hard to keep up with their friends, enrolling in social clubs and putting themselves under pressures financially to meet the demands of these clubs. Don’t get me wrong, social clubs in themselves are not bad, but the demands of some of these clubs are not for girls coming from poor homes. Girls must get their priorities right. If your parents are already struggling to pay your fees and meet your basic social needs why add to your burden by enrolling in a social group that will demand fortunes from you or would require you to dress in a certain way. Most girls, in trying to keep up with such social demands will be forced into having financier, mainly in the form of a sugar daddy who will be footing the bills in addition to their ‘regular’ boyfriends. Ladies be yourselves if you don’t come from a family that can finance your extra social activities stay off some social groups that will force you into ‘student prostitution’. Being at the university is one major milestone of beating poverty. Don’t keep up with the Joneses if you are not a Jones. In a few years all these things you will be able to afford. Some of these men won’t even consider you after a year. They will be looking for the new kid on the block. Some of them you won’t want people to associate you with them, because you would have grown so much. Strive for independence financially, mentally, economically and spiritually. Nobody can take that away from you.
Young girls, this is Sierra Leone your story is not unique. You are just like the rest of us. You taking care of yourself and your family does not warrant you to be flaunting and giving your body to all available men out there. Hardship should not be a trigger to join every orgy or every sexual escapade out there, with men old enough to be your father. Don’t be in a rush to take care of your parents, take care of yourself first and your future. Do you know there are so many things you can do? Look around your campus. What is it that you all need on campus, and cannot access? Look for entrepreneurship gaps within your campus and fill those gaps. Use that wig money you collected from your fiance, boyfriend or sugar daddy and start a business, make use of the opportunities you have now. You know why? These men will definitely be looking for younger, finer and fresher girls that are just entering University. You’re no longer important to them, you’re too old. My sister, you will be dumped, take heed of my advice and take charge of your future.
Salone women be content, be patient, be wise, be brave, above all be strong. Never doubt yourself. You had it in you just search deep and be yourself. You will find all the strength you need to persevere and to break barriers. You are resilient. Peace out✌✌✌@dasalone_titi.
©By Rahima Vandy-Kargbo known as Dasalonetiti Rahima